I came across Matthew's music when he followed me on Twitter, and have become a big fan from the message of hope and inspiration that he shares. His lyrics are so honest and real that it touches my heart.
"And when the doubts creep in/And sneak into my head/I need to look within and change/The way I think". This is a big week for me. On Friday, I'm going to be wheeled into the OR for the 13th time. To add to the worry, this is my first sedated procedure since having my heart go haywire back in June. There's a lot of hoping and wishing going on this week, there's a lot riding on the outcome. We're evaluating how well/not well my last treatment option available to me is working. I'm worried. I so badly want to hear "it looks like you're in remission" but at the same time I need an explanation as to why I can't eat from the constant nausea, why I'm having such an increase in acid problems, why my weight keeps going up despite not being on any weight-gain causing medications and barely eating, why my outputs are climbing higher and higher, and why I keep having issues with bleeding. I need to feel like my concerns are being taken seriously, and for someone to take that initial step to do something to help make a change.
I want all of that stuff so badly, but none of those desires are within my control. What is within my control is whether I spend that time worrying or living. This week I'm going to focus my energy into Jacob's Healing Rooms, because giving kindness to others makes me feel better. Having a distraction from the reality of our lives as chronically ill sick kids, helps to make the days go by easier. Jacob's Healing Rooms will provide a great distraction for kids who are receiving outpatient IV medical treatments. Please help me to brighten the days of other sick kids.
*To DONATE to JACOB'S HEALING ROOMS please click HERE*