"And I know/Some days will be bad/But I don't wanna be/Sad Sad Sad/No more". I don't want to be sad. It's not who I am. If I let the repeated surgeries, failed treatments, disastrous side effects, months-long hospitalizations get me down, I might not ever get up again. It's been a very difficult week of medical appointments for me. I feel like I'm moving nowhere with getting better, or at least even feeling a bit better, and it feels like those that are supposed to be helping me get back on my feet, are giving up on me instead. I know I'm complicated and that I don't fit into the normal of anything. It's frustrating when all the pills and various therapies that are thrown at me don't work, I get that it forces my helpers to think outside the box. I'm not asking for miracles, I know that Crohn's Disease is forever. I know that I'll live with an ostomy forever. I'm ok with both of those facts. I just want help to feel better and be able to do the things that I love.
"I swear all the tears I've cried/Could fill an ocean". I've shed a lot of tears this week, but today is about letting that go and moving on. I'm going to choose to put a smile on my face, to laugh and say "I Don't Wanna Be Sad". And I certainly don't want other kids to feel sad, so that's why I'm going to take my sadness, my frustration, my worries and I'm going to turn it around to give something beautiful to others to help share a smile. Because when other people are happy, it makes me smile. Please help me fulfill my wish of making Jacob's Healing Rooms become a reality!