Saturday, September 12, 2015

Jacob's Song of the Day: "Try" by Colbie Caillat

Today's song is one that has particular importance to me and speaks about what I've experienced so far in my short life, Colbie Caillat's "Try". Have a listen and read what it means to me below:

I've experienced what unfortunately a lot of kids have to go through these days: Bullying. Between my grade 3 and grade 4 years is when I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. Like many other people living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease, I had to take A LOT of prednisone. I quickly went from being a little 40lb kid where you could see all the bones in my body, to being closer to 100lbs. 

Crohn's Disease had also likely made me shorter than the rest of the kids. I was not your typical model-body type, that's for sure! I can laugh about it now, but it was hard at the time. The kids didn't understand that it was completely out of my control. At the time, I was also growing my hair long to make a wig for kids with cancer. My grandpa had been diagnosed with stage 4 bladder cancer, and it was a pretty scary time for us all. I wanted to give back to honor my grandpa by growing my hair for others. The kids called me "fat lady" and would make comments all the time about my appearance. It hurt. A LOT. But I never let it stop me from being determined to go through with my plans. It wasn't them that I was doing this for, it was all for the other people who could use it. 

I'm different. No matter what I do, I'll never quite be the same as everyone else. How could I be expected to? Not only are my experiences completely different than everyone else my age, but I also have a permanent ostomy (unless a sudden cure for Crohn's is found!), and I have a tube that hangs out of my nose for my nutrition. I've gotten used to the stares that I get when I'm out in the community. My mom and I explain to others who ask about it, what it is and what it does. Does it feel weird to have people stare? Yes. But then I remember that people are staring because unless you've spent time at the hospital or have a close family member/friend with a tube, they've never likely seen it before. I'll be starting school again shortly I hope, and I know that in grade 7 there is a lot of pressure to fit in. I'm worried, but it's not up to me to change. It's up to everyone else to accept me for who I am. I don't have to try, I am who I am and that's who I'll be forever. 

"You don't have to try so hard/You don't have to give it all away/You just have to get up, get up, get up/You don't have to change a single thing"

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