Believe. I believe. We all need something to believe in, it's what keeps pushing us to go forward even when we'd rather hide our heads in the sand. It's what helps us from moment to moment, reminding us that even though things might seem dark right now, there's a belief that not all days are going to be like that. I believe that there is something that we can learn from all of our experiences here on Earth, good or bad. It would be such a waste if nothing of value came out of everything I've been through in the past 3.5years. I believe in the power that we all have to make a difference in this world and that when we all work together, nothing is out of reach or impossible. Together I believe that we can bring smiles to the lives of other sick kids.
This year was tough for believing. As each day passes and I physically feel the same or worse, that belief that things are going to get better seems further and further away. At times, it felt like saying that things were going to improve was about as improbable as pigs flying out of my butt. But belief is one of those human things that we need. If I didn't cling to belief even in my darkest times, then there wouldn't be any hope. If I didn't hold on to belief, then it would be really hard to see a point to all the suffering and want to do something to change it. I wouldn't believe that a 12 year old could make the type of impact on the world that I want to make.
Love. Love is essential to life. Love creates, inspires, comforts and encourages. It's what overpowers the sadness and let's us know that we're not alone. Love has the power to heal the pain, disappointment and fear. It holds our hands when we are scared, and helps us to believe when we're at at our most full of doubts. Love is something that you can never have too little of.
This year I have been shown so much love. Jacob's Healing Rooms has brought some new and amazing people into my life, who have shown me such amazing love and support that I could never possibly tell them how much they mean to me. Having spent so much time at the hospital and being sick, it can be very lonely at times. The love that others have shown has made me speechless, brought me to happy tears and been overwhelming at times. It's only with love that all of your dreams become possible, and all of you are showing me exactly what the power of love can do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Hope. Hope is the most powerful ingredient yet. It's what keeps us looking into the future and knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's what we cling to when everything around us seems to be crumbling away. If there were no hope for change, hope for tomorrow and hope for better days, the world would be a very depressing place. Hope is one of the most important values that we can hold on to desperately and whisper our deepest, most secret wishes. Hope is an amazing power.
It could be so easy to lose my hope. When each treatment option has brought some significant side effects, reactions or just plain didn't work, it's hard to hold on to hope that there's going to be a treatment that does work. It's hard to hold on to the hope that there will be better days ahead when I've felt pretty much the same day-after-day for months, and months before that, and months before that... It's hard to cling on to hope when you have no more treatment options available. But it's necessary. I need to have hope for better days. Without hope there would only be despair, and I won't ever get anything done since there wouldn't be motivation to make positive changes. Without hope, the world turns black and all the colour gets sucked away from life. Hope needs to stay strong, it needs to help us get through each difficult moment so that we can feel that there are chances for a better life out there. Hope. What a wonderful word.
Being the math geek that I am, I couldn't help but make a special equation for my ornaments:
To have hope, you need to add belief in the possibilities that are out there with a good helping of the love that encourages you to continue on each day.
This holiday season, remember to hold on to your hope by sharing belief and love with the world!
Happy Holidays Everyone!
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