Thursday, December 10, 2015

Jacob's Song Pick of the Day (10/12/2015): "Hello" by Hedley

I hate goodbyes. Which is why today's song is a perfect choice: "Hello" by Hedley. Have a listen and read why I chose this song today:


This song gives me hope. I haven't been able to see my school friends in a very long time because of being sick, and I miss them a lot. When I get e-mail from them, it makes my entire day because then I know that they are thinking of me as much as I am thinking of them. It's about the connections that we build and how those connections can keep going even if time and distance get in the way. Regardless whether it's been a week since you last had contact with someone you care about or years, there's always a way to go back and say "Hello". 

Goodbyes might be right up there with the things that I hate most, right up there with ultrasounds in nasty places that I won't even mention. I have had to say too many goodbyes in my short lifetime. Since I've spent the majority of the last 3.5 years either in the hospital or in a waiting room at the hospital, most of the friends that I have made have been other patients. Sometimes we keep in touch, but a lot of times we just meet up when we're hospitalized together. I've also made a lot of friends with staff and hospital volunteers. Even though there might be several months before we see one another, when we meet again it's as though time hasn't moved on at all and we pick up the conversation where we left off. That's just the way it tends to be with hospital life, but it still... sucks. Some of the friends I have made have gone home to live their "healthy" life, but there have been some that have lost their fight, yet I still remember them and think of them often. The saying of "Some people come into our lives for a short time and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never ever the same" is very much a reality in the world of chronic illness.

But I've also had to say goodbye to my "normal" life. There is nothing normal about having an ostomy, and a feeding tube, but it has become my normal. There is nothing normal about being too sick to go to school or to have a birthday party, yet both of those are my reality. I've had to say goodbye to Scouts, which I really greatly enjoyed, because I can't do the physical activities, even playing a game of tag would be way too much for me. I've pretty much had to say goodbye to a normal childhood.

"Goodbye" to me seems way too final, like I'm never going to see that person again. I like to think of "Goodbyes" as "see ya later", or "until we meet again", that implies that the interaction is going to continue after a pause. So if you ever do meet me in person, don't be offended if I don't say goodbye. It just means that our relationship is going to continue in the future.

As a side note, I'm so excited to be going to see Hedley in the spring for my 3rd time (thanks mom!) that I wanted to share just how excited I am to be seeing them with a few of my Hedley pictures:

 I think I'm just a wee bit of a fan of the band! If you ever get the chance to see them in concert, it's one awesome and amazing experience!

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