"I don't know where I belong/I don't know where I went wrong". Sometimes you try so hard to do everything right, to make everyone around you happy that you completely lose focus on yourself. Then, when those that we have tried so hard to work with disappoint us so deeply, it leaves us second-guessing everything. I've been in this situation more than I like to admit. I've felt completely disrespected by those that are supposed to be there, those that are supposed to help. I've felt ashamed to be who I am. I've felt like I'm the problem and that it must have been something that I did that has angered people. I'm 11, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not supposed to feel these things. But I do.
What I wish that people knew was that I'm trying my best. I may be a kid, but I'm still a human being who has feelings. When I don't fit into a neat little box, it's because I'm unique, and that's a good thing. I wish that all people were taught the values of empathy, compassion and respect. These all seem to be the basics that would make our world a better place. I wish to be able to have my voice heard, my concerns addressed. I need to know that I belong.
So what do you do when you feel such great disappointment, when you feel like those people who are most needed are not in your corner? What do you do when you're left with the feeling of "what was the point of that"? You pick up the shattered pieces and make something new from them. You throw yourself even more into taking the pain and using it as your inspiration to do even more good in the world. You shed your tears, have a (indoor) group screaming session, and say "ok, where do we go from here". I still feel physically horrible, but I'm not going to let the emotional impact of the past stop me from doing good. They say that "Giving Feels Good". It's one of the honest truths out there. The devastation I felt of yesterdays will only reinforce my commitment to help other children. There has to be something good that comes from all of this. Please support Jacob's Healing Rooms and help make the days of sick children a bit brighter.
"Love - we need it now/Let's hope for some"